Some people scan the personal ads, I give my full attention to the employment and job section.
After a few rough interviews and even some that I thought went well, I've concluded that looking for a job is very much similar to dating. Replace the word "job" with "person" if you'd like.
When looking for a job, I seek to answer a few basic questions.
1. Can I grow with this job?
2. Will this job fulfill me?
3. Will this job make me happy?
4. Will I be satisfied with this job?
5. If this job is far from my home, will the long distance commute strain me?
6. Can this job afford me a nice meal from time to time?
I went on a five hour interview weeks ago. Yes, that's right. Five very long hours. The interview was very much like a speed dating session. At least I got a free lunch meal out of it. Every 30 minutes, I met with someone different in the company. Every interview I've gone on, regardless of how long the interview is or how many people I met during the interview, they usually follow the same pattern.
- The first minute is awkward.
Do I shake hands and how firm should my shake be?
Hugging is inappropriate for a first meeting, right?
Is there anything in my teeth?
Can he tell I'm nervous???!?!
Does he notice that I didn't quite iron my skirt thoroughly??
- The first 5 minutes consisted of my selling points. Why that person should like me and want to work with me. In addition to a condensed version of my life story, I casually list my accomplishments highlighting my strengths.
- The second 5 minutes consisted of that person doing the same exact thing, only his life is much more interesting and his accomplishments are much more successful. At this point, I realize why I'm still unemployed.
- The next 15 minutes consist of the interviewer asking me questions masked as a two way conversation.
"Where do you see myself in 5 years?"
"Why didn't your last job work out?"
"What do you look for in a job?"
- The last few minutes is my opportunity to ask questions so the interviewer knows I'm came to this meeting prepared and my interest is still there. After expressing my gratitude and excitement for the interview, I ask one last dreaded question.
"When am I going to hear from you again?"
The even more dreaded response:
"Well it was nice meeting you. I'll call you or something. I'll let you know."
Wanting to impress the interviewer even more, I run to the nearest Hallmark store and buy a thank you card to mail him. Much like debating what to say on the phone, I waste a good 15 minutes (time I could've spend doing something better like reading people's status on Facebook) on picking the right card with the right message and the right tone.
A blank card might make him think I'm boring and not fun.
A funny card might indicated I'm too silly and can't take the job seriously.
A colorful card might be too loud for the interviewer. He might like someone whose a bit more subtle and conservative.
I stay away from any obviously childish or religious thank you cards and pick one that still leaves a little mystery to my character.
I want to keep him interested and let him know I'm still thinking about our meeting.
The hard part comes in deciding what to write in the card.
I need to write enough so he doesn't think I'm desperate.
I need to remind him of why I'm a great catch.
I need to remind him why he (and his company) need me more than I need them.
I need to remind him why I'm the perfect choice and he won't find anyone better.
The harder part comes in deciding when to mail the card.
Or wait, should I hand deliver it to the office? Is that too soon? Is seeing me in the span of 24 hours too much? Isn't there a 48 hours rule?
After standing in front of the mailbox for 10 minutes, I drop the "Thank you for the interview. It was great meeting you. I can't wait to hear from you again" card.
One day passes. I keep the window to my email open and my cell phone on the highest ring possible in case he contacts me. One week passes.
Why hasn't he contacted me? Did I do something wrong? Was it something I said?!?!?
As I'm finding condolence in a bar of chocolate and checking the profile of an old boyfriend on Facebook, my email inbox indicates one new message. ITS FROM HIM!! The interviewer!
Before I even get to the second line of the email, I already know what he's trying to say. The connection wasn't made. He's found someone better. But he wishes me luck in my journey.
But we could have been happy together.
I finish my last bite of chocolate and wallow. He didn't even bother to call! I call my friends and vent.
"I thought he liked me."
"How could I have been so foolish?"
"It was never me."
"Maybe I'm never going to find the right job."
"What did I do wrong?"
"Why does this always happen to me."
"He doesn't know what he's missing."
"I should have tried harder."
"Whats wrong with me?"
My friends would console me as most friends would during a breakup or broken heart.
"Don't worry. You have so much to offer."
"Its not you, its them."
"Everything happens for a reason"
"The right job will come along."
"You and that job weren't meant to be."
"The job wasn't that great anyway."
"You still have your health."
"Did you really want that job? I mean, come on, that salary?"
"You can do SO much better than that job."
I insist on a maximum of 36 hours to wallow before my search continues again. I may not have gotten that job but the right job, MY job, is still out there. Interviewing gives me a strange high (and low). There's plenty of fishes in the sea and I can appreciate fishing. Its simply of matter of having the right bait and patience. Lets get my fishing on!
